IC Inbox

[virtuosoweblumexpert]

Hello! And welcome to the voice messaging system for Sir Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe! Advisor to the Altean royal family and Knight of Loyalty. I am very sorry to have missed your call. However, if you leave a message for me after you hear the sounds of the beep, then I shall endeavor to respond back to you the very moment that- BEEEEEEEEP!!!

Comments

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[tagartist]

Maybe. I mean, there's also the multiverse theory? Which seems like it might be a pretty solid explanation. Physicists would shit their pants if they had this kind of proof of it...

[ The...? She looks confused for a second, before it clicks, and she can't stop herself from laughing. ]

Not cool as in like cold, cool as in okay. Copacetic? All good. Same thing you said only with less SAT words.

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[virtuosoweblumexpert]

Oh. So cool means okay. I think I understand that. I see no reason for us not to be... cool. [He doesn't get it, but he understand it.] So, what's a SAT? Why are you spelling sat?

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[tagartist]

[ She's giving him two thumbs up. Good job, Coran. ]

It's the Scholastic Assessment Test. [ She says that with some kind of imitation of what she clearly thinks snooty rich people sound like before her voice drops back to normal with an eye roll. ] Or whatever the fuck they're calling it these days. It's some stupid standardized test that you're supposed to take if you want to go to some fancy ass school for higher education. I never took it, but I studied for it once and it looked like garbage.

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[virtuosoweblumexpert]

Why do you need a test before going to a higher education school? Isn't a school suppose to teach you what you need?

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[tagartist]

Good fucking question, wish I had the answer. My best guess is because it's an easy way to snag money off of people, but I'm sure there's some bullshit reasoning behind it that's not rooted in capitalism.

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[virtuosoweblumexpert]

How does someone get money from testing people? Test are expensive! Especially if the train facility is destroyed during combat testing!

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[tagartist]

[ .............................................. what. ]

I think that tests might be a little different in my world than they are in yours.

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[virtuosoweblumexpert]

Oh? Do you not train the body and the mind at the same time? Or do you simply not use the effective tool of possible bodily harm to help remember a lesson? [If Pidge was still here they should talk about the time Pidge nearly was killed learning the Altean alphabet.] How are your tests run?

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[tagartist]

Uhh... Definitely nothing like that. You sit in a desk with a number two pencil and two pieces of paper. One with some circles that are labeled with A through E or whatever and then the other has a bunch of multiple choice questions on it. You fill in the little circles marked with whatever letter lines up with the answer and then some people run it through a machine and they try and use it to figure out how smart you are.

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[virtuosoweblumexpert]

Why the second best pencil? Why not use the very best? Did something happen to the first pencil?!

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[tagartist]

What? Oh - no, that's not - ... The numbers are about how hard or soft the pencil's lead is, how dark the color will come out. It's not like a ranking of superiority.

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[virtuosoweblumexpert]

Oh.

[...]

Then why numbers? Why not just state the material and thickness of the pencil? Much less confusing that way!

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[tagartist]

I think more people would be confused by the chemical make up of the graphite than a scale that just basically rates how hard and how black it is. So like a number two is pretty well known for meaning 2HB - very hard and very black.

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[virtuosoweblumexpert]

Hm. I suppose I can understand that. Like a short hand guide to the density of the writing instrument. So these tests like lead that is hard and black. Interesting.

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[tagartist]

Yeah, I guess they're like most Bad Dragon addicts that way. [ ... WAIT ] I'm not explaining that one.

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[virtuosoweblumexpert]

Well, of course there are dragons that are bad. Every species as good and bad behaved members of their group. Although why are they addicts?